Why I Shouldn't Cook Dinner

[Editor's note: Brutal winter weather has caused many of us to postpone supermarket trips and try to creatively make do with what's already in the kitchen. Hence, you may empathize with my daughter's culinary challenges. I think you'll also find her determination to produce dinner both admirable and humorous.]

Why I shouldn’t cook dinner


I had a perfectly valid dinner plan. I had in my cabinet red curry sauce. I bought cubed tofu and chopped broccoli. All I needed to do was cook the tofu and broccoli and simmer it in red curry sauce. Alas, once the broccoli and tofu were cooking, I realized the curry sauce had expired about 14 months ago.


This left me to create some sort of sauce with the contents of my kitchen, which are sort of random. I had a can of lite coconut milk. I located soy sauce and some spicy cooking oil. I threw all of that in. The sauce was sort of meh. I remembered that on Top Chef they always say that dishes need acid. I don’t know a lot about which foods have acid, but I knew that lemon juice would. Unfortunately, I had no lemon juice. I did, however, have lemon-flavored rum. So, I threw that in too.

At this point, I had thrown in so many liquids that I was looking at tofu and broccoli soup. I knew I could boil some of that off, but that could take ages. I recalled that flour is some sort of thickener, so I threw a couple of tablespoons in. After more cooking time, it had thickened enough to be reasonable. I threw the whole mess over some rice.

The final product is pictured above. It was as mediocre as you would expect.


By Marcia Tiersky



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